Crossing the Line
by TheThirdAetas
Summary: Set before 2k7 movie. At one point during all the confusion and shock, Raph wanted to leave in order to get Leo back home. Why didn't he? Sister fic to What It Takes, but can be read separately.


This must go out to DuckiePray, who inspired me with her review. She said that Raph would've left had he not been distracted with his Nightwatcher gig.

I had a different idea than her, but nonetheless, I have her to thank.

Other than that, this was created on the idea that...well, Raph is honestly just a big, soft, angsty sweetheart underneath all his "RAWR, I'M GONNA KILL YOU" tendencies. :)

**Warning: **Cussing, possible OOC, and...crazy melodrama (I really need to write some humor after this)...I also rushed the ending, so I apologize if it's no good. Oh and I did something different with my writing style this time - so if continuous flashbacks piss you off, I'm going to warn you right now that's exactly what happens in this story.

* * *

**Crossing the Line **

"I'm comin' for ya, bro," Raph whispered, revving his motorcycle until the roar of the engine drowned out his surroundings.

He leaned towards the left and rounded a corner without stepping on the breaks. Straining to keep himself upright and glued on his seat, he leaned even further out as he felt the back of his neck heat up. The wind whipping around him made the ends of his bandana wrap around his mouth and he bit down on it, jerking his head to the side as he spat it out.

It was just in time to finally balance himself on two wheels but immediately, he went to leaning all the way backwards, wobbling slightly as he brought his motorcycle up with him. He angled it at almost 90-degrees before slamming back down against the pavement.

In the next second, he heaved the front of his motorcycle onto the sidewalk before hauling the tail end behind him, barely avoiding the plywood laid out smack-dab in the middle of the road.

"Shitheads," Raph grumbled, continuing onto his path as he kept his eyes open for an opportunity to exit the walkway.

Involuntarily, his eyes turned beside him, using those fleeting seconds to catch the grimy streets shadowed underneath flickering lampposts…the brick walls of aged buildings cracked and chipped by years of endless abuse…

…It was an epitome of this city he called his.

Amber irises hardened and Raph snapped his eyes straight ahead once more, rolling out onto the road. And everything else around him fell away in an indecipherable array of colors.

"You can say good-bye later," he muttered to himself.

* * *

"_Raphie!" Mikey whined, "I'm not going to stop you from going topside or anything like that, I'm not Leo." With an unconcealed eye-roll, Mikey reached over to grab at Raph's shoulder, shaking it insistently until his older brother irately turned to look over at the little rascal. "I'm just glad, okay?"_

_Blinking a few times, Raph turned sideways so that he could effectively raise an eyebrow ridge at the younger one. Mikey grinned widely, straightening up as he scratched the back of his head. _

"_I mean, c'mon bro, you go out _a lot_. Like, we barely even see you anymore." His grin fell into a weak smile and Raphael barely had it in himself to keep looking into his brother's eyes. "But at least I know you're always going to come home because…" Mikey grabbed onto Raph's shoulder once more._

"…_Because you never, once, say good-bye." _

* * *

"Aw, Mikey!" Raph groaned out, noticing a second to late that he had turned onto the exit connecting him to the freeway, turning opposite from his intended destination.

"Damn it!" he grumbled as he flew up the ramp, racking his brain for another route. The closest one he could think of was driving onwards a few more blocks towards the next exit, where he could backtrack downtown through a few twists and turns.

He was very sure there was a faster, better way of doing this…but it was kind of hard to concentrate.

"Aw, Mikey," Raph grumbled once more, his face becoming wry as his shoulders dropped low. "Even when we're barely 'round each other, you're still makin' me more 'n' more like you." As soon as those words left his mouth, a snort escaped from him. "Right, as if I was better with focusin' on anythin' in the first place."

Raph turned onto the next exit and made his way back onto the empty streets between New York's skyscrapers. "Not even in another world is that possible."

* * *

"_Anything is possible, Raphael, if only you rise above the limitations set forth by your mind," Master Splinter calmly advised, looking pointedly at the young turtle. "And I believe that if you just relax your body and let go of the pressing matters that weigh on your shoulders, you will be able to balance yourself and realize that there is truth within my words."_

_And falling into silence, Splinter merely pointed his hand towards the floor between the both of them. _

_Raph set his jaw in a tight clench, looking down at the tatami mat as if it were a bug poised to strike at him. But he settled down onto it, his fingers tightening around his knees as his amber irises stayed on guard and wary. Gradually, he mirrored his father's meditation stance._

_Master Splinter smiled slightly at Raph and nodded approvingly before a soft sigh escaped from him. _

"_My son, I understand," he started, looking on carefully as the other's shoulders immediately stiffened. "You are hurt by Leonardo's decision. Perhaps you are the most hurt, for your feelings of abandonment run deeply within you." His beady eyes looked gently at the younger one and that was all it took for Raphael's chest to start throbbing. _

"_But that is no reason to abandon _us_." _

* * *

Raph's hands clenched around the handles of his motorcycle and the grip was tight enough to make his fingers pulsate in time with his racing heart. And his blood began to beckon to him now, whispering to turn around and go back, to forget all about the intentions he held in close to him…

…To stop.

"No, don't do this, not now," Raph murmured with a tremble in his voice, making it impossible for him to decipher his own words. He forcefully yanked his motorcycle to the left, desperately looking for the sign that said–

"Five more miles until LaGuardia Airport," Raph read to himself, stepping on the gas pedals until he reached an almost neck-breaking speed. There was no need to look at the speedometer; the air pushing harshly against his visor said it all.

"I'm almost there."

Raph's eyes frantically tried to search for something to focus on. From stoplight to stoplight, from building to building. From closed door to opened door.

"For the love of _shell_, what is wrong with me!?" he yelled out, shaking his head as he struggled to get a grip over his own mentality. "The one time my mind actually does some thinkin'–of all the frickin' times!" His lips pulled into a snarl. "I ain't goin' back now, I _won't_, not 'til I get Leo's sorry ass home!"

He stood slightly from his seat, leaning forwards.

"So jus' a few more miles and I'm outta here!"

* * *

"_I feel like…" Donnie looked up from his tea, his weary eyes looking pleadingly at the younger one. Raphael just as wearily turned towards Donnie, carefully avoiding his brother's half-hearted smile. "…if you just go a few more miles out of where you usually go, you won't be able to bring yourself to turn back. You'll forget what exactly you're choosing to leave behind. Just like Leo."_

_Raphael leaned heavily against the counter set in between him and Donnie, silently staring at the fingers fidgeting insistently with the rim of a tea cup…like a little, anxiety-ridden child. _

_Raph's throat suddenly became a desert._

"_We need you here, Raphael," Donnie whispered, his hands tightly circling around his cup. "You can disappear wherever you'd like, whenever you'd like, for however long you want to. I'm not Leo, I won't neurotically keep track of your every move." Donnie's countenance hardened, looking back at his frozen sibling with a promise set deeply in his dark brown eyes. _

"_But I better see _your_ hammock occupied by _your _half-shell by the time our clock strikes midnight. As it always has been." _

* * *

Raphael gripped the handlebars of his motorcycle and swung it to the side, scorching the pathway with black, furious lines.

His foot landed heavily on the ground, shaking the loose pebbles that were unlucky enough to be near his foot. In the deafening silence, all he could hear was his erratic pants and all he could see was the fog building up behind his visor.

At the same time, the temperature on the back of his neck jumped to unbearable levels and vertigo began to take over him. He shook his head firmly and dug his hands underneath his helmet, ripping it off himself after several, frantic tugs.

It slipped from his grasp and vaguely, he heard something break.

And if someone were to ask, Raph wouldn't have been able to answer when exactly he pulled away from his motorcycle, staring uncomprehendingly as it crashed onto its side. He barely was able to realize that he had sat down on the fallen body of his motorcycle, feet pressed into the ground with elbows pressed against his knees.

All he could really understand was…

"I can't do it," Raph whispered to himself, blank incredulity making his voice unsteady. "I can't do _this_." He raised his hands before him, unable to believe that the quivering fingers held in front of his face belonged to him. Those feeble, pathetic little things…_they_ were _his._

"I'm…I'm raisin' the white flag."

Raph let his hands fall hanging from his thighs, clenching into fists as he began to glower into nothing.

"I guess ya win, Leo," he muttered to himself, kicking at a stray rock, watching as it soared away from him. He turned away right before it disappeared from sight. "I hope you're on yer way to becomin' whatever the shell you wanted out there 'cause no one's gonna be able to fuckin' stop ya now." He clenched his eyes shut as a sense of failure began to eat away the back of his mind.

Raph was suddenly up on his feet before he even realized it.

"So stay there in yer precious, little jungle for however long ya want! I don't care anymore!" he yelled, his hands cutting through the air in front of him. "Ya know what? Marry a damn vine and stay there 'til ya rot yer grave for all I care."

The next time he closed his eyes…he saw Leo.

And a poisonous resentment began to settle deep in his gut.

"The world don't revolve around you, _bro,_" Raph bitterly stated under his breath, opening his eyes and tearing his mind away from painful territory. "We don't need the almighty, powerful Leonardo to solve all of our damn problems–we're gonna be just _fine_ without ya."

_I'm done, Leo_.

With one arm, Raph pulled up his motorcycle and brushed a few stray rocks from the handle bars. His hands were steady by the time he bent down to grab his cracked helmet beside his feet.

_I'm done with waiting, with wondering, and with missing some asshole…_

And for one, long moment, Raph just stood where he was, beside his motorcycle and looking at the unreadable countenance reflected back at him from his broken visor.

…_Who didn't even miss his family enough to come back to them._

Then Raph's amber eyes hardened with austere determination.

"I'm done with you."

A deprecating smirk stretched across his face and with an inaudible sigh, he heaved himself onto the leather seating. Putting his helmet back onto himself in one swoop, he slammed his hand onto the handle of his motorcycle.

Reaching underneath the rubber and into a hidden nook on the side, he pressed down on a button and stared at the front of his dashboard.

Four numbers flashed back at him in small, red lights.

_12:01_

A wry, bitter smile stretched across Raph's lips as he let out a dark chuckle. "Yea."

An expression of shame weighed down heavily in his eyes as he revved up his engine.

"Don's gonna kill me."

**Fin**

* * *

Thank you for getting to the end of this! I hope you enjoyed reading it.

I just wanted to leave this as an ending note: I am NOT bashing Leo. I happen to like the guy. I'm simply making theories on how Raph thought of Leo, based on how he acted in the movie when Leo came back from South America. Also, I totally understand if you absolutely disagree with my interpretations and you're welcome to attack me with your frustrations. I know the feeling, so you don't have to hold back. :)

But PLEASE, I beg you, if you have enough time to leave a review, don't review to say "Raph is being such a ridiculous, sullen idiot" or something along those lines. I don't tolerate things like that and I don't appreciate it.


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